My existence crumbled when the news came.
How could this be?
Cruel words from cruel deed,
designed to wound the soul.
The blackness came and came,
returning in rushes like cyclonic waves.
With only a split second or two,
here or there,
to catch a glimpse of the life I once knew.
Running, running, running, running.
From the pain, from the fear, from here.
I need you but first I must survive the day.
The first gave me space to try
out my new persona.
The second gave me relief
for a fraction of a second.
You gave neither.
You held. You stayed.
You bore witness.
Then you welcomed me back,
with my shame.
You collected the shattered remains
of my existence.
You kept them safe
and allowed me to peer at them,
from a distance,
before deciding which ones I wanted to take.
You have kept the rest for me.
We know what is there.
I do not want them
but, if I do,
I have faith
you will keep them forever safe.
Whether in this life or another,
I will collect them when I can.
In the meantime,
I will hold others’,
and we will work together.